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  • How to replace self blame with self care
    Why do we engage in self-blame? How to replace self blame with self love?  I wouldn’t have failed if I had tried harder.” ” I am such a bad kid for making my parents angry.” “It is all my fault.why didn’t I do something different.” “If I had acted in a different way, we wouldn’t have had this fight Have you ever felt like this or thought of a situation like this? Have you ever blamed yourself for the terrible things that has happened in your life?  Let us dive in deep about what self blame is and why we …

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  • Nervous system and personality disorder
    Dysregulated nervous system is not always a personality disorder. Read to know how they differ.
  • Improve Relationship with Food
    4 Steps To Improve Your Relationship With Food The first step is to connect with your body. Eating is a way of nourishing your body; giving it back to what it helps us to do and to be. It is about learning to respond to the hunger cues. Why did you stop listening to this? The journey starts from there. Second step is to develop workable self soothing skills by not using food as a distraction. Acknowledging, processing and understanding your emotions prevents you from using food to deal with emotions. Third step is to set boundaries when it comes …

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  • How Self Regulation Helps In Interpersonal Conflicts
    A mirror to how toxic relation ship affect our mental well being and how self regulation helps in inter personal conflicts.

    Conflicts in toxic relationships can be neverending trauma. Free yourself from toxic people and choose to leave such relationships. Prioritise yourself and your self-care above anything. Self-regulation needs a lot of work on yourself.  Self-regulation needs a lot of self-love and self-respect.

    Sometimes we get lost in the words used. Sometimes we focus too much on the tone expressed. We missed those crucial non-verbal cues and by noticing them could actually stop yourself from escalating the conflict. Self-regulation happens when there is a balance in your internal and external environment.
  • SELF SOOTHING WITH FOOD
    I explained how restrained eating leads to emotional eating previously. Today, I am going to explain about using food as a method of self-regulation. Almost everybody has a favourite food to indulge in whenever they feel low. This association of food and emotion was probably enabled in your childhood. It is a common practice by parents to provide cookies, cake or ice cream whenever a child is upset. The intention is good but the consequences are not. Instead of learning to regulate the mood, you might have learnt that indulging in food could make you feel better. They became your …

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  • CONFLICT 
    The answer is simple, NO. Wishing for a conflict-free relationship is unrealistic. When two different individuals having different personalities and values come together, conflict is inevitable at times. How you handle the conflict matters! The resolution determines the future connectedness of the people involved in the relationship. Dealing with conflict means dealing with the unpleasant emotions of your partner as well as yours. Among those emotions, it is the anger of one or both the parties that usually escalates the conflict. Anger is just an emotion that can be expressed in many different ways. It need not be expressed through …

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  • HAPPINESS AND MEANING
    Positive psychology fascinated me because of its focus on “good life” and the positive aspects of human experience. We are conditioned to believe that being happy is the best thing that could happen in our life. To achieve this, we all set conditions in life, which when fulfilled would give us happiness, or at least that is what we believe. Over time, we realise that the conditions never cease to exist. We will always want something in our life that would make us happier than our current self. This realisation was a big moment for me. The moment of accomplishment …

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  • POSITIVE ATTITUDE
    Maintaining a positive attitude is essential in developing a positive body image. Perfectionism is often confused with high standards. High standards make you productive and improve your self-esteem. However, perfectionism is about setting unreasonable and unattainable standards for yourself. When you have perfectionism, you continue to strive to achieve a body without any flaws and end up dissatisfied with your efforts. This leads to self-blame. The solution is: set realistic goals Comparisons will lead to unhappiness. Social comparison, the popularity of social media and access to information has normalised the dieting culture. Studies show that people who tend to follow …

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  • YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
    If you find that affirmations like “you are beautiful too” do not alter the thoughts about your body, you are not alone. These words are often masked as a consolation followed by a conversation about your flaws and insecurities. Eventually, when people say “you are beautiful too”, it is a reinforcement for many deep-seated insecurities. Even though body image is formed through social learning, negative body image is all about you and what you think about yourself. So statements of consolation bear meanings like ‘You HAVE to love yourself’ or ‘You SHOULD love yourself’ can be discouraging and toxic to …

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  • Body Image issues – From a psychologist perspective
    Body Image Issues During Lockdown It is an undeniable truth that the coronavirus has changed our world dramatically. Today, we are in survival mode. However, these circumstances also led to a new trend in the fitness industry which may have an impact on people struggling with body image issues. . Nowadays, social media platforms are flooded with fitness challenges. As the lockdown began, there has been a steep increase in posts related to fitness, exercises, and healthy eating. You could also find a vast amount of posts containing positive affirmations like “Use your time wisely to shed those extra pounds” …

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