The answer is simple, NO. Wishing for a conflict-free relationship is unrealistic. When two different individuals having different personalities and values come together, conflict is inevitable at times. How you handle the conflict matters! The resolution determines the future connectedness of the people involved in the relationship.

Dealing with conflict means dealing with the unpleasant emotions of your partner as well as yours. Among those emotions, it is the anger of one or both the parties that usually escalates the conflict. Anger is just an emotion that can be expressed in many different ways. It need not be expressed through yelling, lashing out or breaking things. A simple statement like “I got angry when you did that” convey the same meaning. It sounds so simple, isn’t it?

Verbalising your emotions and labelling them is an important process during the conflict. If you express your emotions with care, your partner will handle them with care. Most arguments can be avoided if the emotions felt are shared and acknowledged properly.

Anger needs to expressed and the purpose of the expression should be solely to convey the experience of the emotion rather than an impulsive verbal or physical attack.

It is okay to be angry. It is okay to be disappointed.

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